Friday, October 29, 2021
Friday, October 22, 2021
Friday, October 15, 2021
Friday, October 8, 2021
Friday, October 1, 2021
Friday, September 24, 2021
As you can tell from these last few posts, this process was anything but easy. We often found ourselves feeling like, “If this doesn’t go through, we’re done. We just can’t do it again, it’s too hard.” But then we found ourselves there, solidly on the “it didn’t work out” side of it and we realized that we can’t give up. There’s a child out there who is meant to complete our family. Daniel is meant to be a big brother. We just can’t give up.
Although things did not turn out the way we expected them to with this situation, we find that our faith isn’t shaken. We had so many significant experiences along the way that told us we were on the right path. And we trust those. We trust that our Heavenly Father knows us and knows what’s best for our family. We don’t always understand His plan, but we do trust it. And grieving doesn’t mean a lack of faith, either. Because I struggled with that. Even though I 100% trust Heavenly Father, I was still sad. And I wondered if that meant I wasn’t really as faithful as I felt. But I learned that grief and faith CAN and DO coexist. And I don’t have to kick myself when I am overcome with that grief, I can just let myself feel it, acknowledge it, and move through it. It’s been a valuable lesson.
And so, here we are. Again. One year ago we were planning our big adoption push, full of faith that our child would be coming soon. We formed our Adoption Army, made t-shirts, and recruited your help to get the word out. Remember how love begets action? We saw that love, and have continued to see it, in your actions as you supported us this last year. And we are so, SO grateful. We know that many of you have been aware of situations and recommended us and we have never even known. We know that you have been fighting for us. And we need you to continue to. Because WE ARE NOT GIVING UP. There *is* a baby out there who is meant to be our child, meant to be Daniel’s sibling. And we are ready to fight for that child, our child, again.
So, we are going to re-launch Finding Fridays this October! But we’ll do it a little differently this time around. Every Friday we will post an image or meme, along with a link to our adoption profile or blog, here. All you need to do is share it! And if you’re comfortable, ask others to share it, too. We will keep spreading the word far and wide and I am confident that our faith and efforts will be rewarded.
Friday, September 17, 2021
Friday, September 10, 2021
Friday, September 3, 2021
Hello, Army! Thank you for sticking with us this summer. It was a rough ride at points and we’re so grateful for all the support and love we’ve received, and continue to receive.
As part of our healing process, I’d like to share the story with you.
I plan to do it in 4 parts, and post one part a week. It’s a story of hope, grief, love, and faith, so today we’re starting with HOPE.
On April 2nd, our family was matched with a birth mother in Phoenix, Arizona, through an Arizona agency that had reached out looking for LDS families who were adoption ready. The gender of the baby was unknown at the time, but we didn’t worry about that because we knew that, of course, the baby would be a girl and be our Emily - why else would this birth mother have chosen us? We found out that night that the baby was a boy. And we were floored.
The next morning was the first day of the April General Conference for our church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). We prayed and listened anxiously for answers and reassurance about this situation we found ourselves in. During the second session that afternoon, we heard a talk all about adoption - and the speaker even told us the name of the baby girl in the adoption story was Emily. This was still very confusing to us!! BUT, we felt a lot of love and peace from this experience because, although we didn’t get a direct answer to our questions, it was made clear to us that God was very mindful of our family and our circumstances.
We were able to go down to Phoenix a few weeks later and meet this birth mother. It was a short, awesome visit and we felt even better about this match. We started thinking about boy names (though we still wondered if that baby would be born and the ultrasounds would be wrong and it would be Emily!), we took the pink down from the nursery, we went through Daniel's old baby clothes and blankets and pulled out items that would work for this baby, too. We continued to try to connect with this birth mother, but after about a week into May, we stopped hearing from her. The agency told us she was coming in to pick up her checks, but she didn't have time to do a phone call with us. They also told us that she wasn't making it to her doctor appointments. Those things were very concerning to us, but we kept moving forward. Our case manager wasn't worried yet, so we tried not to be as well.
At the beginning of June, our case manager told us that they hadn't been able to get in touch with this birth mother for about a week - they had no idea where she was or what was happening. They said they were checking with the hospitals in the area in case she ended up there and that they would keep us updated. After about a week, they finally heard from her and we got to have another phone call with her. She seemed super on board still, asking us if it was ok if she made the decision about circumcision for the baby, which we were, and everything felt like it was on track. She said she felt like she would be going into labor sooner rather than later and to make sure to keep our phones on! (She had invited me to be in the delivery room when the baby was born) So I started packing. I packed a diaper bag with what we'd need for the baby while he was at the hospital. I packed a carryon suitcase that I would use to fly to Phoenix that had enough to get me through the day or two it would take Brian and Daniel to drive down and meet me. I packed a larger suitcase with more baby items and clothes that we would need for our stay in the hotel while we waited for the paperwork to go through before we could go home. I packed suitcases for Brian and Daniel. I packed all the gifts that we had bought for the birth mother. And we were ready!
During this whole process, I really wished our temple would open. The Church had to close temples around the world due to Covid. And although I knew we didn't need the temple to receive assurances or answers about this situation, I really wanted to be able to go there and pray about this. I prayed that our temple would open in time for us to be able to go before this baby was born. And then it did. And were able to get an appointment to go on the very first day it was open. What an amazing and direct answer to a very fervent prayer! We went and we both had some very significant and sacred experiences that helped us to feel that whatever happened, we were on the right path.
The next afternoon we got a phone call that the birth mother had gone to her doctor appointment and they had sent her to hospital. It was go-time! We found a flight that was leaving in an hour and half, grabbed my carryon and the diaper bag, and Brian rushed me up to the airport. I made my flight and Brian and Daniel planned to drive down the next day. It was super exciting! We couldn't wait to meet our little Henry.